The Impossible Doctor
by AnnCarter
Summary: He was impossible. Simply impossible. He was nearly killed for nothing, leaving her all on her own, and yet he still can't understand why she's mad at him. [Post 2x09 "The Satan Pit"]


_All rights for Doctor Who are the BBC's._

* * *

"So," The Doctor grinned at her, "Where do you want to go now? We could let the TARDIS take us wherever she wants to again, but given how well it worked the last time around-" The TARDIS hummed angrily, cutting him off. He winced at the sound. "Alright, I'm sorry. Still, though," He turned back to her, his right hand still resting on the console, "there are so many places we could… see…" He trailed off as he saw the anger burning deep within her eyes. Swallowing hard, he mumbled, "Rose?"

"So that's it?" Her voice was so quiet but he could hear every bit of anger in it. He could sense her anger, deep in his mind, as if it was magnified tenfold by the TARDIS. "You're just going back to running off, like nothing happened?"

"I…" He had absolutely no idea what to say. There was no sense in the words she was saying. What did she mean, "Like nothing happened"? Nothing happened. He was still alive; they saved a few people's lives; she was alright and back in the TARDIS… What could have possibly been wrong?

Seeing his inability to response and understanding he had no idea what she was talking about, she just stormed off, running to her room as fast as she can as she tried to stop the tears just for a moment longer, until she could reach a safe place. Despite their close friendship, the Doctor had never come into her bedroom without her permission – and she sure as hell wasn't going to give it now.

He stared after her for a long moment, completely confused. "What just happened?" He turned to look at the TARDIS core. The TARDIS, except for a short hum of disapproval, responded in no way. "_Women_," He found himself mumbling, only to feel the TARDIS sending a short electric pulse towards him. "Alright, I'm sorry," He said for the second – and he was sure not the last – time that day. "But would you please tell me what happened?"

The TARDIS didn't respond. He sighed. Seems like he'll have to find a way to understand what was wrong with both of them, as neither was cooperative that moment.

* * *

"He's such an idiot!" Rose mumbled into her pillow. The TARDIS hummed soothingly, trying to help Rose calm down. "You know it's true."

The TARDIS' hum was confirming Rose's last statement.

"How can he not understand it? He nearly got himself killed and left me with those people in the process! It wouldn't be the first time, but still. Doesn't he have any idea how worried we were about him?"

_No_.

"He's an idiot." The TARDIS hummed in agreement. "How can he not understand? You've been here for centuries," Her voice turned softer as she looked up at the TARDIS' wall. "You've looked after him for so long, and yet he still doesn't see how much you're worried about him." The TARDIS hummed sadly. "No, I _know_ he'll see you at some point. He _has_ to. You're the only one he has left from Gallifrey." Her head fell back to the pillow. "If only he wasn't such a complete and utter idiot!"

The Doctor swallowed loudly outside, standing on the other side of her bedroom door. Hearing the noise, she got up and opened the door, her dark-green eyes looking angrily into his brown ones.

"What?" She asked angrily.

"I was… um… I was just wondering if you…" He pointed towards the hallway behind him. "Um… Tea!" He called suddenly, as he remembered what he wanted to say. "Tea! I was wondering if you'd like some tea."

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Tea?"

"Um… yes. I picked your favourite," He showed her the box he'd picked, which indeed was her favourite flavour. "And I found some cookies. It's, um, it's…" She raised her eyebrows, "It's been a while since we just…" Swallowing loudly again, he mumbled, "talked".

_He's trying_, the TARDIS hummed in her mind.

_I know_.

"Alright." She stepped outside, causing him to take a step back. He clearly still had no idea about the reason both she and the TARDIS were mad at him, but Rose decided she'd give him a chance. He _was_ a man, after all. He could only know so much.

He seemed so relieved to hear her say that he spoke the entire way to the kitchen, telling her about the cookies he'd picked for her. Rose rolled her eyes at that. She knew he was trying to fix everything, but sometimes he just needed to shut up. Nobody seemed to have told him that in his nine hundred years of life.

"There we go, then!" He poured some of the already-prepared tea into two cups and brought the cookies he couldn't stop talking about. She frowned as she noticed their shape – they looked very familiar to her. The Doctor blushed slightly. "Well, they're your favourite. From Earth, but…" He trailed off as she looked up at him, suddenly unsure as to what she was feeling. Apparently he still saw anger in her eyes, because he hurried to add, "I can bring something else-"

"It's okay," She found herself muttering as she took a cookie. He seemed relieved once again, but as he sat down in front of her he seemed tensed again, as if he was mentally prepared for the moment she'd yell at him again. When she just nibbled the cookie silently, he relaxed visibly, although she could still see traces of tension in his eyes.

"Rose?" His voice, suddenly quiet and pained, made her look up at him. He seemed so vulnerable to her in that moment that she could barely hold back from hugging him. "I don't know what I did that made you mad at me, but whatever it was, I'm sorry. If you could just tell me what I did, I'll know what not to do the next time around." His brown eyes were begging for her understanding and cooperation. He was no longer the brilliant, powerful, invincible Time Lord – he was just another man now, asking for his best friend's forgiveness.

"I think you should make amends with someone else first," She said softly. He frowned. "She's worried about you. Don't you see that, you daft old man? She's been traveling with you for so long, and you don't even notice how worried she is?" The Doctor looked down, suddenly understanding the TARDIS' earlier anger. "You'd left her alone on that planet, giving her no clue as to where you're going or what's going to happen with both of you, and then you just walk in here like nothing happened?"

"I'm sorry." His voice was quiet. His fingers gently stroked the wall next to him. "I haven't even thought about it. I know, I should have; but I'm your daft old Doctor, and I just don't think about these things. You're a part of me; I've never thought about apologizing to my arm for breaking it or to my brain for frying it-" Rose smiled softly as she remembered that accident, and hurried to hide her smile behind her blonde hair, "-so how can I think about apologizing to the part of me that's you?" The TARDIS hummed soothingly, clearly accepting his apology. "I'm sorry. I really am." He rested his forehead against the wall, closing his eyes. Rose could feel they were talking, but had no idea what they were saying. "You're my oldest friend," He mumbled. "My only friend from home."

Seeing how invested they both were in this conversation, Rose quietly got up and turned to leave, letting them talk alone. She was happy for her – she really was – but at the same time she was still upset over the fact the Doctor didn't seem to think he'd need something more than just a few words from her and a cup of tea to fix what's happened earlier.

Just as she'd reached the door, she heard his voice.

"What about you?" He asked quietly, and Rose knew he was talking to her now. "Were you worried too? Is that what it was all about?"

"No," She whispered.

"Tell me." His voice told her just how desperately he needed to know what was wrong. "Rose, tell me. Please."

Tears streaming down her cheeks, she whispered, "I thought I'd never see you again. You were gone just like that because of your bloody curiosity, and left me all on my own. Without you. Without her." Her right hand gently touched the door in front of her. "I could understand it when you were trying to save lives; I really could, but this… And then you come and pretend nothing happened when I was scared to death because we'd heard nothing from you and for all I know that Satan creature could have killed you!" The Doctor exhaled softly, and the sound told her he was a few steps behind her now. It drove her insane how he could walk without having her hear the sound of his steps. "And you didn't even care!"

"Of course I did." His voice was still painful, but she couldn't tell why. "I thought about you every single moment. I needed to know you were safe. I needed to know I could take you away from there, back to a planet where nothing can harm you."

"Sure felt like it," She mumbled.

"Rose, that's… that's who I am." He sounded confused; in pain; desperate. "I thought that's what you loved about traveling with me. Running into Dickens' performance without knowing what would happen; follow aliens crashing in London; going to New Earth and getting in trouble without even realizing it – isn't that exactly what you liked?"

"Yes," She whispered.

"Then what's changed?"

Her mind was screaming to her to open the door and run away, back to her room, where she wouldn't have to answer that question. Her heart was the one that made her turn around to look into his eyes, her pain almost mirroring his own.

"Everything."

He blinked in surprise. He opened his mouth to respond, but feeling his breath this close to her skin, she couldn't help but pull him closer and kiss him as fiercely as she could, one of her hands resting against his cheek, her fingernails scratching his skin. He stood there, doing nothing, in absolute and complete shock, as she pulled back and ran away, not giving him a chance to response.

He stared after her for a long moment before mumbling, "Why didn't she just say so?"

The TARDIS' response hum was amused. _You're an idiot_.

"Yes," He swallowed hardly again. "I definitely am."

Once he managed to breathe again, he ran after her, trying to find where she'd gone to. She wasn't in the library, the video room, the dressing room or any other place he could think of. "Where on Gallifrey is she?" He mumbled to himself, stopping as he attempted to think of a new place. It took him but a minute to figure it out. "Her room! Of course she's in her room! I'm so thick sometimes!"

The TARDIS hummed in agreement.

* * *

As soon as he reached her bedroom door, he opened it quietly, careful not to make a sound she could hear. He'd never come into her room without her permission before, but this time he needed to see her, and he knew she wouldn't let him enter. He quickly apologised in his mind before closing the door behind him and walking towards her bed.

She was lying on her bed, crying against her pillow. The TARDIS' hum was soothing, and the Doctor silently thanked his friend for trying to comfort her. She was mumbling into her pillow, but he couldn't make out any word she said. He remained silent until he kneeled by her bed, gently taking one of her hands into his. She froze.

"How long?" He asked quietly.

"Go away," was her only response as she continued sobbing into her pillow.

"How long?" He insisted, and Rose knew he wouldn't leave before getting his answer.

"Since before your regeneration," She whispered. "A long, long time before your regeneration. Probably after we've met Dickens or something; I don't remember." He exhaled softly, finally releasing the air he was holding in his lungs. "Now go away."

He didn't reply. Instead, he gently turned her hand around and pressed a kiss against her palm. She remained frozen as his lips gently travelled up her arm until reaching the sleeve of her shirt – he was thankful that it was short – and then all the way back down until he reached the back of her hand.

"Look at me," He said softly.

"No."

His lips followed the same path once again, only this time he rolled her sleeve up and gently kissed her shoulder before moving back down. Her head moved slightly and he took the opportunity to suck her neck gently, kissing his way down until he reached her shirt again.

"Look at me."

She finally turned her head to look at him, her eyes red from crying. Her eyes met his and she was shocked to find softness and love in them – the things she least expected from the Doctor in that moment. Or in every moment, really.

"How long?" She whispered.

"Always." He whispered back. There was no way he could tell her how he fell in love with her that very first day, when she walked him to the TARDIS and insisted to know why the manikins attacked her; and that very same night, when she noticed the London Eye and essentially saved him and her planet. She'd saved him in so many ways since then, and he couldn't tell her just how much he loved her for that.

"Always?" She whispered, her eyes wide and showing him just how vulnerable she felt in that moment.

"Always," He confirmed quietly, his hand gently cupping her cheek. He gently pressed his lips against hers, revelling at the feeling of her soft, sweet lips against his. His lips made their way down to her neck, his tongue tasting her skin as he sucked it in, causing her to moan quietly. Pulling him so that he stood up, she turned around so that she lay on her back, tilting her head towards him expectantly. Understanding the hint, he quickly took his shoes off and held himself above her, once again kissing her. His tongue studied her mouth, looking for more of the sweet, wonderful taste that he knew was hers alone. Her arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him closer.

"Rose…" He whispered as he pulled back, "I need you to be sure that this… that you want…"

"I do," She whispered back to him, one of her hands moving forward to the cheek she scratched earlier and gently stroking it. "I was never more certain about anything in my entire life."

He breathed out in relief, as if he honestly believed there was any chance she could have said no. "Thank God," He whispered as he bowed his head towards her neck again. His lips made contact with her skin and she couldn't help but moan his name. "Oh, Rose," He breathed out against her skin. "My Rose…"

Her fingers quickly undid his tie and opened the buttons of his shirt as he kept on kissing and sucking every piece of her neck he'd managed to get to. Once she finished unbuttoning his shirt he quickly took it off, not even glancing at it. She was so happy he left the blazer in the kitchen; it allowed her to touch his bare chest now and feel his hearts beating against her fingers. "Oh, Rose…" He breathed out again as she touched him, lighting up every single nerve in his body. His hands left the mattress, where they helped him hold himself above her, and ripped her shirt off, unable to hold back anymore. "You're so sweet," He mumbled as he kissed his way down her body. "So unbelievably delicious."

"Doctor…" She knew she wanted to say something, but she couldn't remember what, not when his hands and lips were doing all these wonderful things to her body. "Doctor…"

His lips moved back up until he reached her ear and whispered a single word in it. Her eyes opened in shock and she turned her head to look at him, amazed at the fire burning in his eyes because of her, and her alone. "That's my name," He whispered to her. "Say it. Say it, Rose. My wonderful Rose."

She whispered his name then, and stared at him as his eyes rolled back and fluttered shut. A moan escaped his lips, which immediately turned into a groan as she undid his belt and touched him through the cloth of his boxers. His lips found hers again and he kissed her lovingly, his desire for her clear in every single move his hands or lips made.

"I need you," She whispered against his neck as he once again moved down. "I need you now, my Doctor."

"Anything for you," He breathed out before complying. "Anything and everything for you, my Rose."

* * *

He lay down next to her, immediately moving closer to her. She cuddled against him, evidently having the exact same desire as he did – to be as close to each other as possible. She then sighed happily, making him smile softly.

"You have no idea how long I've been thinking about doing that," He mumbled, his fingers gently tracing her cheek.

Her dark-green-brownish eyes were warm with affection as she smiled back at him. Her fingers touched the scratches on his cheek. "I'm sorry about that," She whispered.

"Doesn't even hurt anymore." He shrugged. "Time Lord physiology."

She rolled her eyes. "Still…"

"I'm sorry," He whispered then. "For everything that's happened on that planet." There was no way he could communicate to her what he really felt and how deeply he regretted his earlier decision, but she seemed to understand. "My Rose."

She smiled once again. "So what's going to happen with us now?"

"Well," His lips found her neck once again, "I'll keep doing that," He gently trailed down her neck, "and you... will keep doing that," He added as she moaned quietly, "and all of us will keep traveling time and space." Pulling back to look into her eyes, he asked softly, "How does that sound?"

"Wonderful," She whispered.

He grinned at her. "So, Rose Tyler… where do you want to go now?"

She laughed and snuggled against him, closing her eyes. He blinked in surprise, but as he felt her falling asleep next to him, he closed his eyes as well and let the feeling of her in his arms calm him down enough to fall asleep as well.


End file.
